These magic moments

I love when Armenie smells like slightly sour breast milk. I can’t help it. It smells like delicious baby nectar to me. I just want to kiss her over and over on her open mouth and smell her milky tongue. It’s insanity. Drunk on baby, all. the. time.

Hanna is only warming up to her more and more and it is absolutely delightful listening to her converse with her sister. “ARMEEEE, I’m going to eat this cereal but you can’t until you is bigger. OTAY?”

sooo ARMENIE UPDATES

She’s reaching out and grabbing things. I bought her and Hanna these beautiful cloth dolls for Christmas and it’s already becoming her lovey. It’s the perfect size for her little hands to grasp.
She’s almost rolling. She moves back and forth. I’m afraid to leave her on the couch.


and HANNA UPDATES

NO MORE DIAPERS AT NIGHT. I should be crossing my crossables as I type this because it’s been 5 nights in a row with either a dry diaper or no diaper and I don’t want to jinx it! A few nights ago she woke up after she had gone to sleep she actually woke up to go to the bathroom. When we’re at home, she runs to the bathroom on her own and only calls me to wipe her butt.
“Don’t wipe my bum too hard mum.”
I also find it extremely facsinating that just a few days ago Phanie was posting about pooblots and over the past few days Hanna has been making her own interpretations of her fecal matter. So far there’s been a snake, a turtle and a kitty cat. Where are these kids getting this shit? (no pun intended)

It’s been a busy couple weeks at the school and Syx has been working a lot of long days. Hanna and I have had to keep pretty busy so we didn’t miss Daddy so much. We’ve been been doing fun things like Valentine’s Day crafts and making forts. I’m starting to realize that sometimes the mess has to wait, especially when Syx is working so much. Between juggling two kids and trying to be fun mom, not angry mom- the laundry piles up, the dishes pile up and the floor remains full of crumbs. I want to say it’s a small price to pay, but it’s not because I have to admit that my anxiety skyrockets when things get that chaotic, I have a hard time letting it go. However, it is REALLY rewarding on the days Hanna and I sit down together and spend quality time together.

On the heels of all that working, we’ve had a few pretty amazing family nights at home, hanging out in our home made forts, no enforced bed time. Just staying up and snuggling together and talking.

Are you ever just living in a moment with your breath held because you don’t want it to end? Over and over just thinking, this is just so MAGICAL. Trying to photograph it with your mind and remember how the tingles up your spine feel, just like that rhyme when I was kid. “Dot, dot, line, line, spider crawling up your spine.”

My days have been filled with a lot of magic moments lately.

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A week’s worth of days.


20/365
(Jan 24)
My hair is outta control.

21/365
(Jan 25)
MOM CLUB: Evening hangout, winter ale and laundry edition.

22/365
(Jan 26)
More rainy days, more tea parties.

23/365
(Jan 27)
Friday night steam. Missed this place.

24/365
(Jan 28)
Getting ready for Valentine’s Day.

25/365
(Jan 29)
Family day at the aquarium happens about once a week these days.

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Good times, bed times.

If both my children keep on going to bed at 7 o clock every night, I just might have to take up a hobby.

“Mom, I really loves her.”

“MOM! SHE’S TOUCHING ME!!!!!”

…and 5 minutes later…

Perfection.

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Rainy Afternoon

20120124-162445.jpg

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18 and 19


18/365
(Jan 22)
Coloring monsters with my favorite little monster.

19/365
(Jan 23) Today.
Bathtime with the girls while dad’s at work.

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Armenie updates and conversations with Hanna

Beautiful little Armenie. She has the wisdom of old wrinkled woman hiding behind those big dark soulful eyes.

She only wants to sleep in a carrier with her face nestled against my warm breasts, the second I put her down and leave the room she whips her eyes open frantically “Where did you go? Come back mom!”. She likes to bounced while she nurses, this a habit she’s picked up from constantly being in the carrier around the house. Sometimes she won’t latch until I’m bouncing.

I press my lips against hers gently while she sleeps and feel them move as she dreams of milk and warm bodies. Her tiny hand, fingers wide and stretching in the palm of my hand, I nuzzle her neck and inhale the sweet smell of her pajamas. These quiet little moments, I’m just trying to gobble them up.

Her fuzzy hair is ducktailing at her nape. Sweet ginger-blonde fuzz that smells like coconut ice cream. Nom nom nom nom. I love the way she now snuggles into me with intent. Resting her head against my shoulder and her hand over top of mine.

Hanna is currently naked in the front window in the fur covered cat bed.
Conversations with her are so wonderful and insighful.

Hanna: MAMA, what are you doing? Where are you?
Me: I’m just stirring the dinner, I’ll be right there!
Hanna: I am tired of waiting for you now.

She says Are instead of Do, and Has instead of Have, as in: “Are you want to has a bath?” or “I has to go poo.”
She’s added the phrase “Excuse me.” to her vocab. “Excuse me, I can has that fairy?” she said to me today, pointing at one of her fairy figures I stuck up on the ledge over the sink.

She’s also quite fond of the word beautiful, and like Moses, has also picked up on the word “actually.”
“Actually mom, this is Cinderella, not mermaid.”

I have also been laughing at phrases she so OBVIOUSLY picked up from me.
Me: Mommy’s so tired Hanna.
Hanna: You has a long day?


I was watching a bad made for tv movie about teenage girls beating up another girl and posting it on the internet. Hanna was playing and I didn’t even think she was paying attention but she turned to me and said “They’re not being good girls. They’re being baaaaaaad.” Little pitchers have big ears, whatever that’s supposed to mean. (I actually looked it up, in case you’re interested because I had absolutely no idea where the expression came from, only what it meant.) Gone are the days when we can argue in front of her or talk about serious or private matters, she not only repeats but truly understands what’s going on. She’s so in tune with our emotions, that even if she doesn’t fully comprehend the conversation, she senses the tone behind it.

`GROWING UP. It’s blowing my mind.

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Playing catch up – 365


11/365
(Jan 15)
The lighting in my bathroom is REALLY bad.

12/365
(Jan 16)
Late night feeds.

Late night feeds.

13/365
(Jan 17)
Not getting any work done.

14/365
(Jan 18)
Hanna is dressing herself now. I love it. A lot.

15/365
(Jan 19)
The best place to be, baby it’s cold outside.

16/365
(Jan 20)
First nap in the crib.

17/365
(Jan 21)
Today we went to Dilly Dally with Nan and added a cat family to the farm we’ve collecting.

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The Dalmatian Family

I HATE being angry mom.

I spend each and every day without fail, fighting the good battle between happy mom and angry mom. With each annoying quip, with each defiant ‘NO’, with each smack on my face, with each ignorance of my requests there is a battle between these two beings inside of me. Happy mom says ‘Stay calm, she’s just a child, she doesn’t know any better. Be patient, set an example – yelling is only going to escalate the situation.’ Angry mom doesn’t say anything, she’s had enough- she just yells. Happy mom seems to be in control of the situation most of the time but angry mom seems to be always lurking in the background, fighting to make an appearance, like earlier today when this conversation took place:

Hanna: AH!!
Happy mom: I need you to use your inside voice please.
Hanna: AH!!!!!
Happy mom: Stop yelling please, Armenie is trying to sleep, ok?
Hanna: AH!!!!!!!!
Happy mom: Please stop yelling Hanna. Do you understand?
Hanna: AHH!!
Happy mom: Hanna, if you can’t stop yelling, you’re going to have to go into your room
Hanna: AHHHH!!
Happy mom:HANNA, please listen to me, I need you to stop yelling. I’m warning you that you’re going to have to good to your room if you don’t stop.
Hanna: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Angry mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW AND STAY THERE!! (which I must admit is a million times nicer than what I actually WANT to say)
In fact, I actually texted Syx just to use the F word.

It seems like the more you do for them, the less they behave. Is this the result of spoiling? Sometimes I think her expectations are a little too high. I give her a treat once and she expects it all the time. I don’t want to take away the specialness by giving in all the time and I definitely don’t want to have a spoiled child.

So while we’re on the subject of treats, today by about 11am we were getting a little stir crazy so as a treat, I let her empty out her piggy bank so we could walk over to Dilly Dally and pick out a new Scleich figurine (which I am loving as much as Hanna does). She collected all her change into her purse and off we went.

Her first pick was the kangaroo which was awesome since we’ve been learning about them lately and recently watched a documentary on Australia featuring of course, kangaroos. She had enough left over for another figurine and wanted to buy one for baby Armie too, so she picked out a ‘mation puppy for her. With two trips to the counter, counting out quarters and loonies we were ready to go for lunch. On our way to the restaurant, Hanna suddenly started crying. When I asked her what was wrong she held up the dalmatian puppy and told me, “He misses his mama, we need to go back and get her.” I tried to convince her that the kangaroo would look after her joey AND the puppy but Hanna didn’t buy it, and we had to go back for a third figurine which turned into four because apparently the dalmatian puppy needed his mommy AND daddy, just like Hanna has. Break my heart much?

So now we have a whole dalmatian family.

Phanie posted this blurb the other day on her blog:
Staying Home – by Tiffany Doerr Guerzon
(Found in BC Parent, free magazine)

“I also underestimated how incredibly long the days can be. This was especially true when I had been up all night with the baby. Instead of being well dressed and put together, I was so tired I often returned home from an outing to find, to my dismay, that the flaps on my nursing bra were still open under my shirt.”

Phanie posted this quote on her blog the other day and it kept on cycling through my brain while I was huffing up the hill pushing Hanna in her umbrella stroller in the snow with Armenie passed out in the ergo, my shirt wide open and my left breast hanging out of my nursing bra, not to mention the milk that had previously saturated the front of my shirt had started to freeze.

Also you forget to pee when you’re a mom.
Good golly.
And I just burned the grilled cheeses.

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10/365

(Jan 14th)
Fresh and clean.
Also needing an eyebrow wax.

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Art with Hanna

Hanna is drawing things that look like things!!! Watching this next stage in her development is really exciting- we’ve been spending a lot of time sitting together and talking about what shapes to use to build up a picture, like using triangles for ears and circles for eyes with very little prompting from me. I ask her where she thinks is a good place for each part and she shows me. I especially like that she has figured out that an upturned line looks like a smile and a downturned line looks like a frown.

This is Hanna’s cat drawing that she says looks like marmalade but is not marmalade. I helped her color this one, because she wanted me to. She chose the color scheme though.

It says PUCK- not what YOU think! Puck is Oma’s dog and Hanna drew this picture so she could send it to Oma.

In Armenie development, she’s rocking tummy time HARD. She pushes herself up to an almost crawling position. She LOVES craning her neck around to see what’s going on around her.

She’s such a noisy baby. She gurgles and coos constantly with fluctuations and inflections, like she’s in a deeply intense conversation with you and you can tell from her eyes, that she is. Big blue almond shaped eyes looking up at you lovingly, beginning to follow you when you get up and walk around the room. Her head smells like coconut and I am always drunk on the smell. It’s lovely to have a baby around, it’s going to be over way too soon.

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